"READ ME," cried 81, but some of the eyes did not hear. "READ ALL OF ME," he shouted again, but still was not met by the gazes of all. "What can I do? What can I do?" the little Column said, but no one seemed to hear.
"It’s ok," said 80, next door, "Mine ignore me, too. They must have other things to do."
"Me, too," moaned 82, "My eyes barely notice me sometimes. Same for 83 and 84, so I’m told . . . and poor 79! I hear no one looks at him at all!"
"Oh, that’s too bad . . . and viri ominous, too," replied 81, "I hope it never happens to me."
"But what can we do?" the columns asked one another. "If the eyes only knew what they were missing they’d surely read each and every one of our inches."
"I heard they asked the eyes once," 81 went on, "and found that most did the same thing every month. They looked at only the BOLD letters to see if they knew anyone. Then they went way back to the back pages and checked out who died."
"That’s morbid," chimed in 78, "Let’s not think about it."
"But it’s true," continued 81, "And that’s not the worst. Afterward, most eyes put everything in the trash or next to the toilet which is just as bad."
"It’s terrible," the columns all cried, "We thought we were immortal. We thought they kept us forever and took us out again and again to look at us and smile and reminisce about the old days when they could see better."
"Not so," answered 81, "I wish it was, but it’s not. Still, eventually they come around."
"You mean to an older eye’s room?" chirped 99.
"No, not that. I mean they get better about appreciating us," said 81. "I hear 58 and 53 and 46 eyes can’t take themselves off of their columns."
"You mean can’t take their eyes off . . . oh, I guess it’s the same thing," said 70, waking up from his nap.
"Right," 81 went on, "and those 30-something and 20-something folks, well, it’s like a staring contest in those parts . . . no one even blinks!"
"Will our eyes be like theirs someday?" asked 89.
"Someday," the columns replied, "Someday . . ."
But 81 was not fazed and vowed to do what he could to catch his eyes’ attentions. Following 58’s lead, he sent the Class Flag on a long deployment’s journey into cold and back and printed words from Dave Jackson’s eyes who took it.
"I’m glad I had the opportunity to fly our flag over the South Pole as this was our final opportunity. Unfortunately, the Navy is pulling out of Operation DEEP FREEZE and is relinquishing the responsibility of airborne logistics for the U.S. Antarctic Program to the New York Air National Guard. My command will be decommissioned in March after 44 years of support to Antarctic exploration. For your information, the flag was actually flown at the Pole on 07 Dec 98. Hopefully we can claim to have the only class flag flown over the South Pole. Take Care, Dave Jackson."
And some eyes took notice, so he thought, "Maybe the pictures attract eyes so I’ll put in more like this one from Bob Perry in Haw-eye-ee."
"Hi everyone! Here’s a picture taken at Dave Marquet's Change of Command. Dave took command of SANTE FE on 08 Jan. All the guys in whites are ‘81 sub COs stationed at Pearl. Take care, Bob Perry."
Once the eyes "lei-d" themselves on that one, a few more read on and saw another picture, this one of Christina and Raul Vera and daughters Lila, 3, and Olivia Isabela, born December 18th, 7lbs 3 oz, 21 inches. All are doing well and living in Silver Spring, MD.
With good response thus far, the 81 Column decided to try one without the pictures, this time from Peg Klein.
"I ran into a boatload of classmates while attending the Command Leadership Course in Newport, RI in January. In addition to the published course goals of drafting our personal and command vision statements, the course had an elective in microbrew testing. All phases come highly recommended. Newport is a great liberty spot even in January. I can say that because I drove south to get there from Maine. The guys from Kings Bay and Pearl seemed to enjoy everything but the ice and snow.
You may already have updates on some of these guys, but here is the latest as of January. Brian Coval is on his way to be CO MICHIGAN (Blue), Dave Norris is en route to be CO GEORGIA (Gold). Both are homeported in Bangor. Leo Goff is going to be CO CITY OF CORPUS CHRISTI in Groton CT, and Pat Seidel is on his way to be CO KENTUCKY (Blue) in Kings Bay. Bill Kovach '82 was also in the class on his way to be XO/CO Navy/USAF Navigator Training Squadron in San Antonio.
While I was at my mini-reunion in Newport, my husband Frank Klein (1st Co, '79) was playing Skipper and SuperDad. He is CO of VP-10 and SuperDad while I start my XO/CO pipeline. Frank left the snow and ice of Maine for sunny Sigonella last week where he has already run into my roommates Joan Zitterkopf, CO HC-4 and Kathy (Holt) Moeller who is practicing radiology at the base hospital. We hope to get together over Spring break when the kids and I go over to visit.
We don't get many visitors up here in Maine during the icy months, but Frank and I were able to lure Randy Lovdahl, Lilia Ramirez and their children Bianca and Beau up over the Columbus Day weekend. The foliage was gorgeous and hopefully worth the trip from DC. We thoroughly enjoyed having them. Visitors are a great excuse for a lobster feast.
In June, I am on my way to be XO/CO of VQ-3 in Oklahoma City. For anyone who wasn't aware of the Navy presence in the port (what port?) of Oklahoma City, there are two Navy squadrons there. Most aviators travelling cross-country know it as home of the "Tinkerburger," but there actually are Navy airplanes at what we affectionately call NAS Tinker AFB. I get there in June so stop by if you're passing through. Peg (DeLuca) Klein."
Thus emboldened, 81 thought he’d sneak in a public service announcement or two. First, he told of Trader Jon’s, an hangout of winged eyes down P-Cola way. Seems the proprietors are getting on in years and evil corporate types want to buy the place out so the Friends of Trader Jon’s are trying to come to the rescue. "Are you a winged eye?" he asked. If so, you need to contact Bob Stumpf ’74, Chairman of the Board, Trader Jon’s Preservation Squadron, Inc., c/o First Navy Bank, 180 Taylor Rd, Pensacola, FL 32508, rstumpf524@aol.com, www.3dgrafix.com.
Next up came pleas for Class Project ideas to be sent to the Column’s fingers or other Class Officers and for interest in the Golf Tournament headed, once again, by that hawkeye of a quarterback, Fred Reitzel, of Ashburn, VA, (H) 703-729-4809, (E) mythreesons@erols.com. The big event will probably be in late May or early June with a definite date by the time most eyes gaze upon this sentence.
Glancing out at the eyes, 81 suddenly realized he’d lost a few to Last Call and one to the head. Quickly, throwing caution and discretion to the wind, he inserted a picture of a semi-nude man. True, it was tawdry plow, but like Farrah and Fabio before, skin sold and back they came. But who was this steel-tummied track star? Why Dave Kroupa, late of The PHICO Group and Atlanta, GA and Masters Division champ at a local duathon (running & wearing cool shades?).
The trick worked and the eyes came back, but they’d leave again if he didn’t think quickly.
"I know," he thought, "I’ll tell a story . . . like Tolkein, but with a Navy spin to it" and, having just such a story in his stock of older material, thanks to Mike McCloskey, off he went.
"For those of my classmates who haven't heard from me in awhile, my career as a naval officer, although over now, was quite complete. I flew jets, ran a flight deck, represented the Navy to Puerto Rican government (a U.S. territory for those of you who don't know), and was burned in effigy. Can't get much more complete than that!
While in Puerto Rico, I became the project spokesman for the Navy's development of an Over-The-Horizon Radar (ROTHR). We were going to put the transmitter on Vieques Island on Navy property, but needed to lease nearly 1,000 acres to locate the receiver on the main island. One of the 13 landowners of the receiver parcel took exception to our plan and made the radar an island-wide issue about the militarization of Puerto Rico. One thing led to another, and finally came the march and protest of October 29, 1995. About 10-15,000 people showed up to protest and a couple of the protesters brought a life-sized effigy of me tied to a matrix of bamboo poles. Seems since I was the spokesman, I’d become a target of opportunity. The effigy was complete with a hat, ribbons, a smile, and my name. When the marcher reached the Capitol, they torched me atop the steps as culmination (and highpoint) of the march and rally. Little did I know because, at that same time, I was only four blocks away hosting a squadron of Korean ships that had made their first ever port call to Puerto Rico.
Anyway, the base commander had me wearing a bulletproof vest for the next two months and, with support from the Under SECNAV, I was yanked up to an OPNAV job from which I TERAed out. Now I'm working an alternative energy project for Puerto Rico and other Caribbean islands for a company in which I am a partner. Anyone interested in what I'm up to can email me at "oceanenergy@worldnet.att.net" or call me at (703) 860-3762. See ya, Mike."
Now the eyes were sleepy. Story time does that, you know, but, at the risk of talking to eyelids, the 81 Column pushed on with one last item, another one "came in from the cold," Ellen Jewett.
"Have finally solved the address change problem and am receiving my Shipmate for the first time in five years. After reading it and seeing an impressive amount of input, thought I might add a few lines.
I have been in and out of the Navy and on recalls several times in the last few years (7 homes in 10 years) so it is easy to lose track of people, places, and subscriptions. To keep it brief (no need for that), I settled two years ago in Santa Barbara and was doing USNR stuff at Port Hueneme. In Oct 97, I met up with two other 81ers at the Reserve Center making it three from 25th Company in one place, more than I had run across in all 10 years combined. Both Rick Jones and Robbi Garcia are settled in the local area and Robbi works at NAWCWPNS Pt. Mugu.
Of course, as soon as I settled here I got a great job opportunity in San Diego so I sold one house, bought another, and moved to Pt. Loma, all in less than 30 days. Now I drill with COMTHIRDFLT JFACC Unit on North Island (in a pay status) and work as M&S support for the folks at N6M and SPAWAR PD-13. If anyone is in the area, I have plenty of space."
The other eyes were thrilled, having not heard from these particular eyes for some time. So eager was their thirst for more that the 81 Column obliged them with contact info to wit: Ellen M. Jewett, Sr. System Analyst-VV&A Support, Western Regional Office, 1983 Mendocino Blvd, San Diego, CA 92107-2304, (H) 619-226-2740, (W) 619-226-2745, (E) ejewett@abtechnologies.com or jewette@spawar.navy.mil or ej@spacelink.com.
Well, there it was—81 had held the eyes’ interest for more than just a page. He felt satisfied, and deservedly so, but what about next month?
"Oh, my," he thought, "I forgot about that. What if I’ve nothing to write? Wait, that won’t happen. I have another story (or 2), but the eyes’ll hafta wait for that, won’t they?"
And wait they will, but not for long. May is just around the corner and the column will be back, a little older, a little wiser, and with a few more tidbits that maybe, just possibly, might keep the eyes away from the back of the magazine and, hopefully, out of the circular file.
"I’ll not want for May just yet," say you, "Nay, just this month’s issue. Where might I find it?"
In the bathroom . . . the eyes have it. Later, Chic.